


GW: Crosspost all your old oneshots

by gratuitousWordsmith



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-23
Updated: 2013-02-22
Packaged: 2017-12-03 07:12:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/695612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gratuitousWordsmith/pseuds/gratuitousWordsmith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So I decided to crosspost all my old oneshots off of tumblr here! these are all kinda old and will probably ususally be karezi or erifef. There's a few other pairings but for the most part those!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Karezi 1

Your name is Karkat Vantas and after the credits roll on a great rom com you are always ready for bed. If you were to stay up any later, you would probably cry, or act mopey, or  _the metaphorical afterlife forbid on your Ancestor’s name_  be very clingy to your matesprit.

Sadly, she decides that you need to stay awake (even though day is already starting to show through a crack in the curtains) and listen to her talk about the movie. 

You’re sitting on the rug in front of your huskvision and she sticks her head on your lap with no courtesy for her horn digging into your crotch.

“So Karkles, in that movie, what was the point? His matesprit was terminally memoraligically unstable.” She made up words, an endearing trait of hers that you never quite got used to. “Shouldn’t she have been culled after the accident? Why did her custodian save her like he did?” 

You yawn, wanting to tell her its just a movie and there’s a nice vat of sopor awaiting both of you. But instead you indulge her. “Because she can continue living properly, just she wont remember anything. God, Terezi, you of all trolls should be able to see the justice in that!” She shakes her head, jabbing you again.  
  
“But her matesprit continued living with her, even after the revelation of her handicap!” She pushes herself up and pivots to face you, even though she’s looking more at your forehead than your eyes.

“I still pitied you, even after I knew you went blind.” She thinks that over for a split second. In the same split second you mentally scrawl a bright red ‘FUCK’ over that line and try to find a way to recollect those words and swap them for another set, but she’s already talking again.

“Really?” Nothing in her voice suggests she doubts you. She’s egging you on, you know that. 

“Yes, Terezi, really.” She climbs into your lap and licks across your lips before kissing you sloppily, as usual.  
  
You go through this every night. 


	2. Erifef 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based off of a comic by askthedouchefin!

Out of everything troll culture teaches, there is one rule that can never, ever be broken: when your moirail shows up at your hive, sobbing and bleeding, in the middle of the day, you do not refuse them.

You wrap a towel around your sopor-drenched shoulders and throw the door open.  
“Don’t you fuckin’ know what time it i- Fef?”   
  
There she stands, her shirt off and wrapped around her hands. The water around her is stained with her blood and tears.  
“Eridan! He-elp.” You usher her inside, very conscious of the fact that your hive is underwater. You lead her into your social block and settle her on the couch.

“Oh my god, Fef,” you begin to unwind her tank top from around her fists. It isn’t like her to swim around disheveled like this. Once one hand is free she wipes her eyes. “W-what happened?”  
“I-I was swimming,” she chokes, “and the landwellers-” You peel away her shirt. Her wrist is bound in plastic and infusing the water with fuschia blood. The plastic had cut fairly deep, deep enough to hurt quite a bit. You spend a half-second wondering how she got that on her hand in the first place.  
“It hurts, E-eridan.”  
“I know.” You dig your fingers under the ring of plastic and pull, breaking it and freeing her. She falls against your chest. You settle your arms over her shoulders and around her back.  
“I pity you,” you say.  
“I know.”


	3. i literally made a troll version of the disney movie Frenemies thanks oh and there's a little bit of karezi at the end just a tad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Troll Disney’s Frenemies: In which two moirails dissolve their shared quadrant over a dispute involving ascension to the throne. Another troll becomes auspistice. The two female trolls form a kismessitude. Also there is arguments over clothing, and bored furbeast lusus.

You never wanted to get involved in this mess, but sticking your nose in other troll’s business is what you do best. Your name is Connor Price and you’re currently holding two angry moirails apart as far as your low-level psionic powers will allow you. One troll, Bella, is of the same caste as you, but has forgotten that she could easily take you out with a glance. You’re thankful for that fact because the other troll, Zendaya, is pushing as hard as she can against your forces, and my is she strong.  
Finally you are able to wrench apart the squabbling girls to opposite sides of the room. You really hoped they weren’t as loud now as they were ten minutes ago. Bella lived in the communal hive block beneath you and you heard them shouting and came running. Thats where you found the two (now possibly ex-) moirails shoving fingers in each others faces and shouting. You noticed a scratch on the seadweller’s face, a thin trickle of heiress-to-be’s blood slipping down her skin.   
Coincidentally, that appeared to be what the girls were fighting over anyways.   
As you threw them apart and struggled a glowing arm around your hivemate’s shoulders she turned her attention towards you. “Connor, sh-she’ll forget me!”   
“I may not be able to forget you, but now you’ve given me reason to!”   
“Ladies!” You shouted as Zendaya clawed at your wrist to get you to let go. You sent another pulse of psychic energy down her arm and she stopped squirming for a moment. Finally you were able to to wrangle them into hyperventilating, angry, sobbing, messes.   
You drop your voice low and hope you don’t end up as moirail to either of these torn souls. You don’t think your current one could handle polygamy like that, the fragile soul he is.  
“Now, are either of you ready to tell me what happene-“  
“She’s becoming an heiress! Her and all the other puce-bloods!”  
“It’s not puce! It’s fuschia!” Zendaya crosses her arms and pouts. She would make a rather good ruler, you couldn’t help but think. Black curls, pointed horns, elegant fins and dress. She is the epitome of troll fashion, much like Bella. You look over to the mustardblood against the wall, cradling what very well may be a broken wrist (you take a second of pity, hoping she heals quickly lest she be culled). Bella’s hair was longer, but cut across her face. Her horns hung down at the sides of her face like your headphones do on yours. Certainly you were closer to Bella, but no one could have been closer to her except for Zendaya. Those two have been each other’s moirail since as long as you’ve known them. They haven’t let anyone, or anything get between them. Bella has canceled video games with you to go comfort Zendaya after her matesprit upset her (which, sadly, was quite often).   
“Is that a problem?” You asked, genuinely confused over really why they were fighting. As temporary auspistice (as you sadly had to admit to yourself), you really should understand the situation at hand.  
“She thinks I’ll forget her and shun her like the lowblood she is!”   
“Hey!” You shout, a little hurt at her jab at your caste. Perhaps she hasn’t noticed that her broken moirail and yourself share a symbol. “If that’s really how you think,” you rub your temple and keep  between the two, “then maybe you two should just stay within the parameters of platonic hate.” You weren’t sure exactly what was happening, but the two shared a look across the room.  
“I suppose I could deal with that.” Zendaya’s voice was loud, hollow in the bare hivestem block.   
“I will, too,” Bella shuffled back against the wall again, her voice wavering. Was she lying to you? You hoped not, but didn’t want to point it out. “Connor I believe your lusus is scratching at the floor again,” she looked up at the celing. You couldn’t hear the tell-tale loud scritch-scratch of a bored lusus, but you were getting her point. She wanted you to leave so that they can collect the pieces of their pale quadrant and tend to their wounds. So you let them be.   
Although just because you left didn’t mean that you couldn’t hear their resumed shouting.   
“Platonic hate my ass, Thorne.”  
“Back at you, sister.”  
“And to think I dumped my matesprit for you!”  
“Well welcome to the throes of black romance!”  
“Well if you’re so fixated on red feelings, maybe your blood would be better suited to something redder than that mud you have.”  
“I hate you.”  
“I love you too.”  
You pull your lusus from the cushioned seat device and toss him to the floor before flopping down on it yourself. You have failed as an auspistice.   
————  
  
“Karkat?” Terezi asked, setting the bowl of theatrical refreshments to the side. She felt her matesprit fall off the sofa a moment ago, a strained sob escaping his lips. She placed a tentative hand on his back as he pressed his face against the glass of the huskavision.  
“It’s just… it’s beautiful. How the-the moirails became kismesises, and how the auspistice couldn’t pull them out of it…” Terezi sighs and lets him drown himself in the shitty romcoms that he adores.


	4. Karezi 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i forgot how much all of these one shots suck dont read them please

You lean over his shoulder, crossing your arms and settling them on the back of his neck. You stick your cheeck next to his, and inhale deeply. Blue snozzberry.  He’s talking to the John human again.

“Can you not breathe down my support limb for five minutes, Terezi?!” He groans and shies away from your head. You frown and shuffle your arms to a more comfortable position around his neck instead. “Your fucking glasses are cutting into my face.” 

“Well if you weren’t trolling your hate-crush…” You drop off, flushing blue at the thought of what you were actually going to confess. Really you’ve been meaning to tell him before hand, but he’s been  _suuuuch_  a grump lately. That human’s been taking up all of his free time. You could practically smell the spades in his eyes when he glowers at the monitor. 

You flatten your chest against his back and hang your arms over his and pry his hands from the keyboard.

“What are you-“

“I’m soliciting you for flushed advances, Karkat.” You slide your hands under his and turn your palms upward and lace your fingers together. “Be my matesprit.” The thick scent of cherry syrup fills the air and his fingers tighten on yours.   
  
GC: <3  
CG: <3 


	5. Erifef 2 i think

Kissing is a thing that Moirails do, right?

Sure, moirails are supposed to be affectionate, right?  
And you are just moirails, right?  
So there should be nothing wrong with a little kissing.

You perch yourself on the edge of his desk and watch him pass the damp rag over the edge of a wizard statue, as if something had dirtied it. Which it hadn’t.   
“Come on, Eridan! You promised we’d go for a swim reely soon!” He sets down the rag and looks at you over the top of his glasses.  
“I didn’t say ‘reely’, Fef. I said ‘soon’.” You frown.  
“But it’s been ‘soon’ for a long time now! Come on! Let’s go!” He rubs his eyes.   
“Fine. Five minutes a swimmin’ then we’re coming back, okay?” You nod enthusiastically and drag him out of his hive. 

It’s more than five minutes later and you’re more than five minutes away from his hive and you finally found the cave you were looking for. It’s easier for you to talk when you’re above water and this little cove is perfect for talking to him, like you wanted to. Your head breaks the water and you gulp down vascular sacs full of glorious moist air. Oh how much you love the air!  
Eridan seems to take longer to adjust to it, but you can wait. You put a hand on his shoulder and look around. Crystals in every colour of the hemospectrum hung from the walls in patches, glowing softly throwing a dull red blue green light on your wet faces. You feel along the edge with your foot for the algea-lined ridge and pull a still-gasping Eridan over to it. 

“Fef, I told you five minutes.”   
“Yes, but look how absolutely beautiful it is in here!” You grab the sides of his face and force him to look at the glowing cave ceiling.   
“Yeah, yeah, it’s ‘reel gorgeous’ an all, like-” And you don’t know what really prompted you to do so but he’s your moirail and you’d do anything for him so you kiss him. Maybe it was the scenery, or maybe it was because you already had his head in your hands, or maybe you just got so excited but you needed to show him that it was worth being here with him. 

He stays perfectly still.

You pull back and frown.  
“Can we go back now?” You sigh and duck underwater.  
You are just moirails after all.  
It’s not like the kiss reflected more flushed feelings, or anything.


	6. Karezi 3

You hate to admit it, but you are very jealous of the rich, “red velvet cheesecake” Egbert sits between the two of you. She cant seem to be able to keep her sightless eyes off of it. You were unfamiliar still with most human foods and told him to just get you whatever he recommended. You’re seriously regretting that descision as she raises a forkful of the dessert to her face and sniffs it.  
It wasn’t like she hadn’t done that at all on this flushed date, hell she sniffs anything before it even gets near her, but it was starting to annoy you. She hasn’t said a whole word to you the entire time.  
“Terezi it’s just che-“  
“Shush, Karkat, I’m trying to see here.” You weren’t sure what sight and hearing had to do with anything but you watch with half-attention as she curls her teal tongue around the little ball of red cream and draws it into her mouth. She opens again, probably to lick the fork or something, and her rows of sharp teeth are already stained pink. “I can hear you grumbling, you know.” You lay your forehead on the table and hiss. “Karkat?”  
You take a few deep breaths and stand up.  
“I’ll be back at the hive.”

You lay on your back on the human bed with your eyes closed. What is it like to be blind? You open your eyes, and for a moment you completely anticipated still having darkness obscure everything, but you can see the ceiling fan in the dim light and your hand in front of you. You close them again and sigh.  
The door opens and closes quietly.  You sit up in your self-imposed blindness. “Tez?” You feel her weight settle beside you. “What are you doing here?” She should just let you mind your own business. Somehow this is all your fault and you should be allowed to deal with it. She leans her head on your shoulder. 


	7. Fefkan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine that Person A offers themselves to brush people B’s hair, and keeps thinking on how wonderful their hair feels between their fingers.

“And I really can’t believe the audacity that Ampora had to-“  
“Can we, um, not talk about Eridan?”  
“Huh?” You pass the scissors over another section of Feferi’s hair, comparing the length to the last strand you cut. There’s something about seadweller hair that landdweller hair doesn’t have. You muse that that soft weightless quality that anyone’s hair gets when submurged is translated above the sea by the princess’s hair. Her hair is smooth and light and you’re yet to find a single tangle.   
“Well, we’ve been having, uh, some issues lately and I reely don’t want to talk about them.” She crosses her arms and adopts a slight pout to her lips. You set your scissors  carefully on the small table beside you and lean your head on her shoulder, making eye contact with her in the mirror. Her cheek is cold against your warm face and you can feel her fins idily flexing.   
“I can assure you Feferi, any issues that you might be having are not your fault. Having a moirail is more of a process than a production, after all.” She looks down at her lap  
“Are you sure, Kanaya?” She looks worried, like she’s about to cry. “But what if-“  
“Shh,” you stop her worries gently. You stand up and turn her seat around, offering your hands to pull her up. She accepts and you pull her against your chest and move your arms around her. Soothingly, you stroke her fresh-cut hair -it’s rather short now, but you suppose you like it that way. “Vriska and I had had our differences and in the end we felt like maybe this wasn’t supposed to be. Maybe the two of you just need some time. You have enough irons in the fire right now, and you don’t need one carved with his symbol in there as well.”   
She pulls back to look at you. “Thank you, Kan.” You press your lips to her forehead.  
“Anytime. Now, can I finish cutting your hair?” 


End file.
